I LOVE This I Believe (“This I Believe is an international project engaging people in writing, sharing, and discussing the core values that guide their daily lives. These short statements of belief, written by people from all walks of life, are archived here and featured on public radio in the United States and Canada, as well as in regular broadcasts on NPR. The project is based on the popular 1950s radio series of the same name hosted by Edward R. Murrow”).
If I was writing an essay it (actually just one of them) would begin: This I Believe…that it’s okay to let the other guy win even when they don’t deserve it…when they haven’t done the work to prepare, when they don’t have the same values nor the best intentions…when they’ve won and I have lost I can still be the winner…I can take away all the excuses of why I was the loser and I shall forget about how luck was their only means attributing to their success…if I shake their hand and open my heart and bring positive energy to myself and a true enthusiasm for their happiness…then I have done my part in making it both our win.
Some days are easier for me to believe this than others. Seems the days I tell myself I’m going to find something in everyone to love are the days I come home and share a story lacking in personal humility.
When someone is upset with you and he or she feels you owe them an apology, then what you need to do is apologize. Make it a simple apology. You have to allow others to believe what they will about you…you have no control over their thoughts and their perception of you…sometimes you just have to put your tail between your legs. Even when all you want for them is to reciprocate…you should never do anything just for a return. You have to find the good in people and focus on that part of them.
You also need to recognize that some relationships (not people) are toxic. The individuals are good people…but the chemistry of the two can be unhealthy and those people you learn to keep at a distance (sometimes we’re just in a ‘reactive’ period in our lives and can reconnect in time). If I have a good grip about who a person is then I can maintain a relationship with them at the needed distance.
…and always keep in mind to ‘Pay it Forward’ even with apologies…an apology received might remind you of an apology owed.
(First blog…reminds me of LA101…I have the same problem…start with one idea and end with another!)